I Just Don't Have Time For You Just Not Having Time

Fuck you! You have time...

Yep, I'm just going to say it, screw you if you don't have time. Man, am I tired of hearing people say that they don't have time. 

"I really wanted to do that but, I just don't have the time..."

"Nah, I just never got round to it. I just don't have the time..."

"I had so wanted to gym/exercise this week, but I just don't have time..."

"Sorry I never replied to your email/text/phone call I just didn't have the time..."

Really? What the fuck do you with your time, that causes it to evaporate so Goddamn quickly, that you seem to never have enough of it?

My social media, yes that skewed unrealistic porthole by which we gauge real life, is full of young adults bemoaning their lack of time, or using it as some sort of excuse for not living their absolute bestest lives. Sandwiched between glimpses of nothing, more nothing, poorly framed food and wine Insta pics, and sarcastic "Is it Monday already" insights, as if by sharing it into the void online somehow validates it, and themselves.

I think that's my issue here, and my cause for irritation and frustration. [Relatively] young people, claiming they have no time. 

Really? You're a young adult, functioning in society. You only have yourself, and possibly a partner to worry about - who I might add if is also a young, functioning member of society is perfectly capable of looking after themselves - but you still can't find the time to get shit done. Really? Seriously?

I might come across as an [approaching] middle-aged (I'm 36) cynic. I might even come across as someone who envies the freedom of youth and is only cursing my seemingly locked-in adult life. Sure, I get that, I see why you might think that, but to be honest I couldn't give two fucks what you think. When you've lived a little, truly embraced what it is to be responsible in life and for life (and not just your own), you might begin to understand that.

For now, just stop using the excuse that you don't have time to get shit done.

Not having time is the CEO of a company who literally works 18 hour days to keep the doors open and lights on because other people lives depend on it.

Not having time is the mom/dad who wakes up every 2 hours to feed a newborn baby because that’s what you HAVE to do.

Not having time is the son or daughter who has to care for an ailing/dying parent because no else will and the thought of their death consumes their every waking moment.

Not having time are the parents of a handicapped child who literally never have a second alone, ever.

Not having time are the people that do all these things, all the time, every day - getting shit done, and still having time to get more shit done.

So, are you a CEO, or a new parent? Are your parents dying? Is your child handicapped? Are you weighed down by responsibility?

No? Then fuck off, you have the time.

Every instance you use that excuse people around judge you, and oh boy do they judge you hard. In their heads, they think, "Man, this guy/gal has no clue how to run their own lives. No clue at all! You're a party of one, and you can't even get your shit together..." And I'll be standing right there next to them judging you too.

I try not to judge people, honestly, I do. But when people use the "I just don't have time" excuse, I judge hard. And you might be thinking, "Hey Luke, you're a dick! You give zero fucks what I think, so I'm going to give no fucks either...!" That's cool. When I was younger, that was pretty much my outlook on life too. But you know what? At some point, I had to grow up, and start taking responsibility for myself and others. Unfortunately, I only really got that "Oh fuck!" wake up call later on in life, when you know, shit was breaking and falling down around me. 

You want a family right? At some point, I don't mean now obviously? Well, if you thought you had no time now, you're in for one crazy shock when you decide to have children. Yeah, I know, I know, you're never going to have children right? Well, enjoy your lonely twighlight years existence then. You'll join a tiny fraction of the world population that don't want a family or children. I respect those people, as I try and respect everyone around me, but they are very few and far between. The rest of us, we want a family... Eventually.

That means at some point you're going have to grow up too, and at the very least, that means being able to manage your time, and just get shit done, and not falling back on the old "I just don't have time..." bullshit. Why? Because if you don't, nobody will and shit will start breaking and falling down around you too.

And hey, older folks who think that using the "I just don't have time" excuse doesn't apply to you. It does. Sure, you've got a job, you work hard, you have a family - young children who sap every waking minute of any free time you thought you had. You've got a social life etc etc etc. Good for you, I've got some of that too. But, I've made a commitment to myself to not fall back to that shitty excuse when I've made a conscious decision to do one thing over another.

Because that's what it is. Time is time is time. It's finite, and it's the same for me as it is for you, as it is for everyone, everywhere. What you chose - and yes, there is always a definitive choice - to do with it, is up to you. 

I have 2 little boys under 4 years old who my amazing wife home schools whilst running her own business. We make time, however, rushed or seldom it might be, to spend time together.

I haven't had a holiday in a year - I feel permanently exhausted. I make time to run over 120km per month.

Work hours are flat out. I make time to check in with my amazing wife during the day.

Maintaining friendships requires effort. I make time to keep in contact with the people who mean the most to me.

Time is money. I find the time to articulate my thoughts to colleagues, and be polite and respectful.

Every time I chose to do something else rather than a few of these things listed above, that's on me.

I could spend any free time I do have just doing things that interest me, but my marriage and home life and family relationships would suffer massively.

I could just not exercise but my physical and mental health would be in the toilet. I could not bother checking in with my wife during the day, but eventually, we could grow apart and not be interested in each other at all.

I could just ignore my friend's messages and calls, but then they'd eventually stop messaging and calling.

I could communicate with the bare minimum of effort to colleagues work prospects, but I know that in business people stick around because of the people, and who wants to work with or be serviced by a dick who has no time for them?

How I spend the finite time I have each day, week, and year is on me, no one else, but me. And every time you make the decision to use that excuse that you just don't have the time, I say, fuck you, I just don't have the time for you just not having time.

🏁

Header photo by Joe Hu on Unsplash